Curtis Mutter
I'm Such a Loser - A Poem
I'm such a loser A loser am I I lost all this weight Now I really look fly I lost my virginity Eons ago To a beautiful girl I lost down...
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Curtis Mutter
- Mar 10
- 1 min
Florida Republicans to Ban Every Book from Schools “Just in Case”
In a statement released to the press Saturday morning, Florida governor Ron DeSantis said, “We have made the moral decision to ban every...
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Curtis Mutter
- Jan 12
- 2 min
Orson Welles Laserdiscs
What do you call someone watching Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil on laserdisc while eating a bowl of microwave popcorn at 5:35am? I guess...
13 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- Jan 7, 2022
- 2 min
Brewster
Brewster, I am so grateful that you chose me as your human. You gave me love and company when I felt unworthy of either. You gave me...
19 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- Dec 8, 2021
- 2 min
Playing Catch Up
The difference between this blog and most others (besides the fact that this one isn't being written in 2006) is that I never promised at...
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Curtis Mutter
- May 15, 2021
- 2 min
Dear Editors
Dear Editors, Here’s the thing: I’m a fucking genius. Every word I type is deliberate and perfect and I’ve never made a typo or put a...
33 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- May 3, 2021
- 2 min
Sisters of Twitch Channel BotezLive Announce Bullet Chess Competition
Of all the categories viewers might have expected to blow up on Twitch, the classic board game Chess would likely have found itself at...
22 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- Feb 27, 2021
- 1 min
Happiness
I sometimes wish I was dead. But, like, in a funny way. Knock knock, who’s there? Not me, I killed myself. I guess it’s not funny to joke...
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Curtis Mutter
- Dec 11, 2020
- 2 min
Who the Eff is Parson Brown?
When I was a kid I thought Parson Brown was some celebrity I’d never heard of and that the line in Winter Wonderland was the equivalence...
40 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- Dec 2, 2020
- 1 min
Espionage
Express yourself. Get it out there. Say something, anything, as long as it’s true. Exist. Despite everything and/or anything against you,...
24 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- Sep 18, 2020
- 3 min
I'm a Tetris Champion
I won a dollar playing Tetris today. For the uninitiated, the official Tetris app for phones and tablets has nightly contests, and as...
24 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- Jul 30, 2020
- 1 min
Jimmy Liked Weed - A Poem
Jimmy liked weed and he liked it a lot, And the weed Jimmy liked was the weed we call pot. He smoked it on weekends and often quite more,...
42 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- Jul 9, 2020
- 1 min
So You're a Writer
So you’re a writer? Yeah, you’ve been stewing on this one idea for a while and when you finally get to it, everyone will know what you...
23 views0 comments
Curtis Mutter
- Mar 31, 2020
- 2 min
How to Talk to Your Boomer About Coronavirus and Social Distancing
Boomers are known to be entitled and confused at the best of times, and during this current crisis they may have questions like, “Why...
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